Love Letter to a Dungeon Master Lyrics

This next song goes out to all the Dungeon Masters who be working so hard for their players (You're workin' so hard)
I see you
Mr. DM, you don't say it much but I know what you want and tonight I'm gonna give it to you the only way I know how
(La-la, la-la, la)

I sit myself down on a Friday night
When the feeling's right
For some DND (C'mon, give it to me)
Party of 5, but tonight feels just like you and me
Fuck these other guys
Fuck the cleric, fuck the monk, fuck whatever Dan's playing, yeah

"I know we said no homebrew, but my character's sort of half mosquito, half Dracula"
No one gives a shit, Daniel
We get it, it's a vampire
DM, look at me

I'm gonna give you what you want
But what about what you need
They're two completely different, —pletely different, —pletely different things

You say you want me
To engage with the story
Roleplay and investigate
But I can read between the lines
You toss and turn in your bed at night
Mr. DM, it's just for you
When I say I'm prepared to

Stab a peasant
You want me to stab an NPC
The story's over here, who's that over there
Stabbin' a peasant with no name? Me
Stab a peasant
Happy birthday Mr. DM, baby
Who's getting an invite to the next campaign? Me