Reason I’m Alive Lyrics

Thought I'd be better by now
Thought I'd be happy by now
Instead I'm stuck in bed and I can't even leave my own house
Wondering why the hell I just can't seem to figure it out
I scroll on my phone for hours
And I pretend that it helps
I wish I had it all together just like everyone else
That's when I started asking myself

What if happiness is something I'll never feel
What if sadness is a scar that won't ever heal
What if all these ups and downs I'll never figure out
What if everybody's gone and I'm alone
Suffocating in the pain I can't let go
I've been searching my whole life
For the reason I
The reason I
The reason I'm alive

They tell me don't give in
But they're all full of it
Nobody knows what it's like waking up inside of my head
Some nights I close my eyes
And pray to God I die
And every day that I don't
Just makes me wanna try
That voice inside my head
Pulls me right to the edge
And it says

What if happiness is something I'll never feel
What if sadness is a scar that won't ever heal
What if all these ups and downs I'll never figure out
What if everybody's gone and I'm alone
Suffocating in the pain I can't let go
I've been searching my whole life
For the reason I
The reason I
The reason I'm alive

Who was I before the pain
What was it like to be okay
I'm begging God for another way
Is there another way

What if happiness is something I'll never feel
What if sadness is a scar that won't ever heal
What if all these ups and downs I'll never figure out
What if everybody's gone and I'm alone
Suffocating in the pain I can't let go
I've been searching my whole life
For the reason I
The reason I
The reason I'm alive