Why Do Hotdogs Come In A Pack Of 12 Lyrics

Why do hotdogs come in a pack of 12
When I can only fit 10 up my ass?
I've tried and tried, it never goes well
Always 2 leftover, oh what a farce!

I've bent over backwards, I've gaped till I cried
I buttered my rim, I've swallowed my pride
10 slid in like a dream, no pain
But the 11th hotdog set my nerves in flames
My guts are gurgling, my ring's in shock
I've got a bratwurst wedged in my pooping dock
I've spat on my fingers, I've shoved till I'm grunting
No matter what I do, I just can't get the cunt in
I've used lube, I've used spit
Even stuck them in sideways to see if they'd fit
But once I get to 10, my ringpiece says: "Not again!"

Why do hotdogs come in a pack of 12
When I can only fit 10 up my ass?
I've tried and tried, it never goes well
Always 2 leftover, oh what a farce!

I've fisted my tunnel, I've pried it apart
I lubed up my ringpiece till it's slick as a fart
10 slid in easy like ghosts in the night
But 11 and 12 just won't fit in right
My sphincter's twitching, my colon's agape
I've got a hotdog wedged where I used to defecate
I've queefed from my asshole, I've shat out my spleen
But that bastard won't budge, it's just stuck in between
My guts are churning, my hole's agape
I've pissed myself and I've lost my shape
The neighbors are listening, the floorboards creak
I think I just farted out the whole of next week!

Why do hotdogs come in a pack of 12
When I can only fit 10 up my ass?
I've tried and tried, it never goes well
Always 2 leftover, oh what a farce!

My insides feel like a butcher's slab
I've prolapsed so hard I could wear it as a hat
I reached around, tried shoving it all back
But my hole just gave up at the sight of all that!

Why do hotdogs come in a pack of 12
When I can only fit 10 up my ass?
I've tried and tried, it never goes well
Always 2 leftover, oh what a farce!

You know what? I think I'll stick to the soufflé!